10 biggest dating mistakes
A healthy relationship is one between two equals, both giving and receiving in reciprocal fashion.If you find that you are in a relationship that has a lot of benefits but there are some kinks that need to be addressed, best to discover effective ways of handling these conflicts early on.For example, telling someone you love him or her so they will sleep with you, and then not calling them again.This form of manipulation is simply unacceptable (to put it mildly), and does not lead to healthy relationships.If they don’t let you call them at home, yep, red flag. Of course, there are more subtle warnings that one may be tempted to overlook, especially if one is eager for the relationship to work out.While one shouldn’t jump to conclusions without sufficient evidence on the first problem that arises, an emerging pattern is not something to make excuses for or brush under the rug.Don’t keep making the same mistakes: If you need help in improving your relationships and your life, Therapy can help. Allison Kahner has been helping clients improve their lives for years. Our office has moved to Westchester (scarsdale) Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is proven to help clients with such difficulties as anxiety, stress, panic attacks, depression, and low self-esteem.Are you making dating mistakes that stand in the way of you finding the right person or keeping the right person after finding him/her?
Alternatively, we might be so fearful of getting hurt, betrayed or rejected, that we exit stage left just as the play gets going. Do you plunge into the deep end, only to find that the water is way too cold? Getting overly involved too soon is a big red flag.
Until you have time to really get to know someone, and see him or her in a wide range of situations, it is helpful to not get ahead of yourself; don’t strongly attach to some illusion that you have created about the person.
This can lead to pitfalls of setting up unrealistic expectations and subsequent disillusionment, or depression if the relationship doesn’t work out. Obsessing over details: This one is common with those who worry.
Relationship coaching or couples therapy can help you learn how to better manage problematic issues so that they are no longer impinging on the health and happiness of your relationship.
While most mental health professionals don’t consider themselves to be “dating therapists” or offer special dating counseling, it is often helpful to apply the best practices of cognitive therapy to improve all aspects of dating, from date selection process, to the process of forming a healthy positive relationship, preferably one that meets the needs of both parties and therefore becomes a long-term relationship.
If fear of commitment is an obstacle, better to work out your patterns (or schemas) in therapy than in your relationships. If you do it, then you need to pace yourself, and be more considerate of the other person, who you are probably leading on. Not being honest about your needs: Pretending everything is OK can work for only so long.