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A 2014 Ok Cupid study concluded that women find Asian men less desirable than other men on the app.
A speed-dating study conducted at Columbia University showed that Asian men had the most difficulty getting a second date. I was stunned; you can see my face as I process what the f**k just happened. And the amazing ladies sitting next to me had my back.
“We count good, we bow well, we are technologically proficient, we’re naturally subordinate, our male anatomy is the size of a thumb drive and we could never in a thousand millenniums be a threat to steal your girl…
The structural emasculation of Asian men in all forms of media became a self-fulfilling prophecy that produced an actual abhorrence to Asian men in the real world.” Huang’s not wrong.
Some Asian men have started harassing Asian women for marrying non-Asian men, because to them, “marrying out” perpetuates the stereotype that Asian men are undesirable.
As author Celeste Ng writes in a piece for “[These ‘Asian incels’] believe they’re fighting a constant battle against a culture that’s out to get them…
They didn’t understand my family values and were often weirded out by traditional Chinese cuisine.
And I always felt like an outsider being the only Asian girl among a bunch of white people when visiting said boyfriends’ families.
Now, I can see that I was surrounded by many, problematic messages about the desirability of Asian men (or lack thereof), which in turn led me to believe that they were socially awkward, passive, unattractive—and therefore not dateable.
When friends tried to pair me up with the one Chinese guy in elementary school, as if we were meant to be because I was the only Chinese girl, I quickly became annoyed.
And in high school, I very clearly remember a bunch of guys trying to introduce me to their Asian friend while I was waiting for the bus after school one day.
Then, of course, Hollywood and pop culture reinforced this idea.
Before there wasn’t much Asian representation on-screen.
No one in my friend group was Asian and that didn’t just influence my tastes, it also affected my identity.