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Posted by / 09-Dec-2019 18:25

Single dating online com

That spectral ex-spouse of mine used to complain of what he called our “heteronormative” lifestyle, a term that made me roll my eyes though I knew just what he meant: Our lives had lost their capacity to surprise.I remember lying in bed and reading the memoirs of the French writer Blaise Cendrars; I couldn’t stop marveling at the boundlessness of that man’s existence, one that made him a film director, a beekeeper, a watchmaker and connected him to gangsters and whores.When I was in my early 30s, my husband of four years, partner of nine, left abruptly in the middle of the night.In the surreal weeks and months that followed, I grew increasingly apprehensive about the idea of online dating.

(And I should acknowledge, too, that I have also behaved badly at times, failing to write someone back once real life takes hold or sending squirmy messages in lieu of a clean break.)But for all this, what I’ve gained from online dating far exceeds what I have lost.

I’ve met United Nations diplomats and my favorite movie star’s ex-husband.

I have spent a summer dog-sitting in Los Angeles and flown to Jamaica for a third date; licked cocaine off car keys and undressed at midnight in a Barcelona square.

The conventional wisdom is that marriage makes us whole, that it completes us (as if alone we were unfinished).

But as much as I loved being married, I see now that dilution might provide a better metaphor.

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And I could tell you so many stories, stories of poverty and privilege, of divorce and infidelity, of fatherhood, forgiveness and the foolhardiness of studying philosophy when you are the great-great-nephew of the great Ludwig Wittgenstein.

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