Why dating sites are a waste of time
Why are we encouraged to proactively seek something that will come find us? But trying to strike that balance between "doing us" and actively going on dates is entirely up to us -- and, to be honest, seems impossible. I wrote a piece once about how I will absolutely never, ever give up my gym time for a man I don't know. Why do we invest so much of our time, energy and hope into Tinder and Bumble and set-ups from friends and blind dates as per our parents' suggestions? I'd think twice about giving up a good sweat sesh for a guy I care deeply about, but getting to that level is the tough part. You don't see that face to face, though to be fair I would notice it once we exchanged numbers and started texting anyway.I think since women are stereotypically less visual than men are it's much harder for a man to attract a woman online than for a woman to attract a man, since a huge portion of it is based on the user's photos.How do people spend anywhere from one to three hours with a stranger, and then, if it doesn't go well, have enough motivation to do that whole thing all over again a few days later?Meeting people you've never met before and judging them in terms of whether they'll fit into your life romantically is exhausting, time-consuming and a huge investment for something that more likely than not won't turn out to be anything huge at all. Now, meeting someone organically while doing my own thing is a completely different story.
This week, a tech journalist in the US downloaded and analysed all the data stolen from the adultery website and found a “dystopian” reality.
Statistics like these may be why a writer for the website Mama Mia said back in 2013 that she tells all her single guy friends to “watch out” for online dating.“It is a sad, soul-crushing place where good guys go to die a slow death by way of ignored messages and empty inboxes,” Emily Moss wrote., said it was likely many women on dating sites are turned off by annoying and overly sexual messages.“Female internet users, regardless of whether they are online dating or bloggers, are subject to a higher level of harassment from men online than men experience,” Dr Rosewarne told .“For many women this can motivate them to alter how they use the internet including whether they do so in pursuit of intimacy.”Females hoping to find the ‘perfect match’, rather than just a casual hookup, could be even more disappointed.
US researchers found in 2012 that the industry’s claims to use mathematical algorithms to boost match compatibility were “likely false”.“To date, there is no compelling evidence that any online dating matching algorithm actually works,” Northwestern University lead researcher Dr Eli Finkel said at the time.
And I've been told the best loves happen without asking for your permission first.
So if love supposedly finds us when we aren't looking, then why does dating even exist? We learn about ourselves, too: what we're willing to put up with for the rest of our lives and what we're not. But in the eyes of someone who wants to take me out on a date, that same schedule is impractical.
But a far better picture emerges in research for those of a particular age and sexual orientation.